Oh well!

So due to my lack of discipline and general laziness, this blog thing never really took flight.

I suppose it was meant to catalogue the journey from start til settle in Melbourne - and in a way, it has.

I've made my way over, come to terms with the city, found a great place to live, and I've just started an amazing job at a place so perfectly tailored for my likings that I couldn't possibly ask for more.

Sorry for the disappointing lack of posts, but for those who care - things have worked out so far. Exceptionally so. Much love to the lot of you, and I dare say I'm going to make it.

LingLing xo

Vice Vice Baby

Spent hours dressing up (read: loathing my wardrobe).
Ran the 'Oh my god I have nothing to wear' routine.
Applied vigorous amounts of hairspray.
Went to a VICE party.
Turned up late.
Missed bands.
Missed free booze.
Got mistaken for someone else.
Made a friend.
Got invited to a party.
Went to clubs in town.
Didn't actually go in.
Came home shattered.
Interesting night.

On to the Next One

Right. I've clearly been getting a little too comfortable with the settling in process, and you know when you've got something to do that takes a little work and then you don't feel like it 'cause you want to watch Adventure Time and then oh it's 10 o'clock obviously I'm not going to write now seriously I won't get any sleep oh it's 4am and I haven't updated this in four days because this cycle keeps happening aargh.

So in lieu of a dreadfully lengthy endeavour, let's truncate the whole process and bring up some nifty bullet points instead.

• I have a place to stay in now and it is mad bitchin'
• Not being homeless is the bee's knees
• I now cry roughly 2 1/2 times less per day
• I won shit at a casino
• I've gone market shopping. MARKETS. HAWKERS PARADING THEIR WARES WITH VERBAL CAPS LOCK
• IKEA is my new favourite place (in the world)
• I'm pretty sure all the DIY shit I've been doing validates my manhood
• I'm officially a freelance writer
• LOOK MOM I'M A BIG KID NOW
• My room has gone from being a futon and windows to a pad composed primarily of awesomeness
• I've discovered that fuel for word-smithing is a hearty serving of whisky (high five, Hemingway... and cirrhosis)

I suppose the subtext is that everything's finally settling down just fine and dandy. Only a matter of time 'til I run this town.

P.S. Ah fuck, I need a job.

Sounds Good

Whoah. Whoah. The past few days have arguably been some of the most stressful times I've ever had to go head-to-head with in the entirety of my existence. Bold claim, but fuck me do I stand by that statement.

Impending homelessness and general loss of direction with things not working out were ridiculously aggravating things to deal with, and I'm almost ashamed to reveal that they manifested themselves in what I figure were psychosomatic forms. Stress led to perpetual nausea, which led to an inability to eat, which tumbled into lethargy and all manner of illness. The worst part: I'm pretty sure I was entirely aware of what my noggin' was doing to the rest of my body, and the inability to combat its effects exacerbated the entire process.

But enough about the sob shit. Progress has been made. My first Australian article's been published, I've done my first interview (to be published in The Beat next week), WE'VE FINALLY FOUND A PLACE TO LIVE IN (a decent one in North Melbourne, actually) and things are back on track.

Now I'm aware that this post isn't exactly witty or comedic a la mode, but it's more of just an update of how I'm doing for whoever that gives the slightest semblance of a care (hi Mom). Regular shits and giggles will resume shortly. I swear there's a good chunk of tales right around the corner.

FFFFFUUUUUU-

THIS IS MY LIFE

Quite a bit has happened. Just so scatter-brained right now. I swear I'll update this soon. Maybe when I don't feel like throwing up from sheer anxiety like, all the time or whatever. xoxo

Ching Chong Bing Bong

Eek! So I’ve been awol for a bit- my apologies. I think I’ll try to keep this updated at least every two days, or someshit like that. Wait, does anyone even care? Meh. I’m ‘personal record of affairs’ as the justification for keeping this thing a-chuggin’.

I’m sounding like a broken record, but the house-hunting front is still proving to be a tough nut to crack. With any luck, at least one of the five or so flats that we applied for over the weekend will work out, and then I might just be able to recoup my sanity. I have the sneaking suspicion that Cthulhu’s the source of the strange noises we’re hearing around the flat. It could be possums or whatever strange wildlife they have here, come to think of it. Maybe Cthulhu though. Explains my crazies.

It’s Chinese New Year today! Shit was mad cray in Chinatown. Ferocious lion/dragon dances (done by white ppl lol), ear-splitting fireworks and unnavigable mobs were all on the menu down Little Bourke Street. SO MANY PEEPO

SARDINES

Resisting the impulse to absolutely wreck children blocking the way (IT WAS SO HARD), I finally made my way to Erik and Holly (I came THIS close to punching a child) and grabbed some milk tea and Yum Cha for lunch. Considering the festivities, it would've been rude not to (God I'm gonna get so fat). We had to deal with firecrackers in the background, terrible customer service and barely any space in the restaurant. Yep, authentic Chinese experience alright.

Back In My Day...

The thought of your parents having full lives before you is almost unfathomable, isn't it? Just trying to comprehend the fact that they've been through the same trials and tribulations you're now going through abso-fucking-lutely boggles the noggin.

To put this revelation in context: I met one of my Dad's friends today. I'm basically meeting an older gentleman or lady every other night for the next couple of weeks, like I've fucked the age (ha!) on my eHarmony account (no that is just a joke, I don't have one. STOP SEARCHING FOR IT). It's essentially so that I have contacts and decent safety nets in case shit hits the wind turbine, but I half suspect that he's wringing me through his list of comrades so they can assess whether or not I've got the crazies and/or have the foggiest clue of what I'm doing. I'm fairly lucid, but I think I'm talented enough with the verbiage to distract them from the fact that my current vexations have traversed into territory of a somewhat... opaque nature.

Yep, I'm still figuring out my shit aye.

Granted though, I keep hearing this reassuring point from all sources: In five years, you look back at the twenty-something struggle and laugh. It's just something every individual has to weather, but if you've got the guts and gusto, things will work out. Now it's just a matter of actually getting through this period. It may be the toughest, but I also hear these are some of the fondest years. Glad to know that the struggle's not all in vain. OR WAIT IS THAT A LIE THEY TELL YOU LIKE SANTA

So does that mean I just got touched by a regular pervert then?

In other news, I submitted my first Australian article today for a site called Purple Sneakers. I'll link it if/when they put it up, and that can be where it all begins. Getting in touch with other magazines, and about to get started with The Beat. How exciting! So I went shopping and spent a week's rent to celebrate. Oops.

Because I'm worth it.